How children learn to fail

When we look at children we see something very interesting.

Children are very active, they learn so fast, are very adventurous, curious and ask a lot of questions. They are very confident, ever ready to learn anything new, never give up, full of energy, fun and excitement. It is rare that a child is not like the above. Children progress very naturally from crawling to walking, to talking to learning new things, to climbing trees, singing songs, learning school work and so on… they are full of confidence and energy.

As the children grow older, their confidence and interest in learning becomes less and less.

The parents and elders say that it is natural for the children to lose their confidence and interest because this is part of growing up.

 Is it really natural to lose confidence and interest as we grow up? Of Course Not!

Today education and research tell us that children lose their confidence and interest because of a very simple mistake made by parents and elders.

Example : A child accidentally breaks something expensive or asks an innocent question  or say some bad words or play or make noise when someone is concentrating or not listen to parents and so on whole we are in a bad mood,

What Happen

We immediately scold the child with words like: stupid, shut up, useless, hopeless, good for nothing, stop doing this, idiot, lazy, monkey, donkey, don’t ask stupid questions, you are useless and so on.

Some parents even go further: bang, slap, rotan, go to your room, lock them, tie them, or any other punishment.

Many times this happens to children even when someone else makes mistake.

When this happens once or twice it is not very serious. When this happens over and over again, the child begins to believe that he/she is stupid, becomes frightened and lose confidence and interest in learning.

our happiness and potential is destroyed by the people who love us but they never realized it, nor did anybody else.

Was it the fault of a small child if he/she broke something expensive, asked to many question, repeat words learned from others?

The child is innocent!

Everybody makes mistakes and needs advice and guidance to become better. If we explain to the child the mistakes, the child will begins to understand and stop doing those things.

When they deserve punishment because of a repeated mistake, we must try to explain the reason he/she is being punished. This way the child will listen and stop disobeying parents and teachers.

Surely there must be some other ways to help the child grows instead of having to use negative words that are going to destroy the child slowly.

Think of this danger!!!

Do we want to be the cause of our children losing their confidence and interest?

          STORY:

One day, Mr. Davis visited a circus compound and was surprised to see a big elephant tied to a pole with a small chain. He asked the owner why they use such a small chain on such a big elephant.

The owner explain that the elephant does not know or realize it has the strength to break the chain.

When this elephant was young, it was tied by this small chain. At that time the elephant tried to break the chain but was unable. After trying for a few days without any success, it gave up. From that day onwards, the elephant began to believe that it cannot break the chain. Through this way the elephant is robbed of its ability to break such a small chain.

This is the same principle that happen to the human beings.

During childhood when we are being told that we are stupid, useless and so on… we begin to believe such negativism and soon we begin to behave in that manner.

We too, have many small chains that are preventing us from achieving much more in life. These chains have been put there by our parents, teachers, elders, friends and others.

Nobody realized that it was going to rob us of our confidence and happiness.

Try to think of other situations in our lives where these chains have been placed.

raise the child with reason and logic not scolding and shouting.

a small belief can destroy the strength and confidence of a big elephant.

do not put chain on people.